Music Phases.
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Please submit your awkwardness! I can only keep this up if people send me screenshots of their old Internet explorations, anecdotes, and the like!

Try to top my awkwardly pubescent life
  • My AIM screen name was fatlardllama92
  • I used to think anything random was funny (hence “llama” in my screen name and the Napoleon Dynamite reference)
  • I had AOL Red for a while because it wasn’t for really little kids but still didn’t allow adult sites
  • Just having AOL at all says enough (I used all their CDs as ninja stars though)
  • I had a Habbo Hotel account until I realized I was just jealous of everyone who payed to decorate their rooms and that everyone else just wanted to “get married” and describe what they thought sex was like to each other
  • I still played Pokemon in secrecy with the fattest girl in my school…in high school (and always had the best pokemon/beat gym leaders like nothing)
  • I remade my Neopets account and actively completed quests/leveled my neopet
  • Took a break from Neopets and couldn’t log in because I forgot the birthday I put so I could access the 18+ version of the site
  • I always used my mom’s birth year for whenever I had to lie about being 18
  • I never had a Nintendo but had the first Playstation and a huge collection of all the “-mon” variation cards, Pogs, and Crazy Bones
  • I remember how dumb I felt for trading one of my Pokemon cards for a Japanese shiny sticker knock off one
  • I watched Yu-Gi-Oh and Digimon whenever I ate breakfast and felt bad for liking them more than the Pokemon show
  • I used to religiously read video game magazines…just to know what to put on my Christmas list
  • Jurassic Park was my favorite movie but also had the ability to put me in a state of fear unlike any other movie
  • I felt like I was doing something wrong when I first saw a girl’s nipple in the Titanic
  • I feel like I was the only one who still remembers Street Sharks, Puzzle Place, Gargoyles, Timmy the Tooth, and Dinosaurs
  • Harry Potter was my favorite book series (this lead to still believing in magic for a long time of my life and memorizing spells like “wingardia leviosa”)
  • I stopped reading Harry Potter after J.K. Rowling pulled some bullshit by writing 700 pages that seemed like they would take forever to read at the time
  • I still have giant chests full of sport cards and comic books that I collected
  • To this day, I’ve never seen the end of Lassie
  • Kablam, Ren & Stimpy, Cow & Chicken, 2 Angry Beavers, and All That! were my shows
  • I had the biggest crush on Amanda Bynes whenever I watched her show
  • Lasertag birthday parties were always way more competitive than they needed to be (I also was always jealous of the kids who got the birthday necklace that made your gun shoot really fast)
  • I legitimately liked Linkin Park for a large span of my life
  • I went through the same music phases as every other pubescent guy (like 60s music of Jimi Hendrix/The Beatles to liking Nirvana and Green Day)
  • I secretly somehow knew most Spice Girls and Britney Spears lyrics
  • I remember when Radio Disney was the radio station of choice
  • I also remember when Sugar Ray, Supernova Girl from Xenon, Aaron Carter, and Eiffel 65’s Blue were the most common sources of songs stuck in my head
  • I was the first person in my grade to grow facial hair…in like early middle school
  • My first time shaving was when I came home after trick or treating with my friends on my own for the first time
  • My voice also became deeper than anyone else’s/cracked the most
  • I used to be so obsessed with space/aliens that I had an alien themed birthday party
  • My all time job choices from when I was younger were: 1. Astronaut, 2. Archaeologist, 3. Jet Fighter Pilot
  • I thought I was going to be a scientist because of Bill Nye…until I realized I was shit at math
  • I could tell I was getting older because in science class, we grew out of Magic School Bus to Bill Nye and then Gattaca
  • Sex Ed stopped being something to giggle at and turned into an explanation for new and relatable things/a session of convincing me that I was going to be a dad and get an STD if I ever had sex
  • Bras stopped being something to snap on girls’ backs and turned into a girl’s status symbol among the boys
  • The day I realized being mean to girls didn’t make them like you was life changing
  • I first smoked weed really early at the age of 13 because I thought I was late in experiencing it after my friend told me he had tried it when “a girl at camp exhaled the smoke into him as they hooked up”
  • I truly believed “girl at camp” stories and always hid my jealousy
  • I cursed way more than is ever acceptable because I realized I could since my parents weren’t around to hear me
  • I hadn’t been drunk until the first day of summer before senior year at prom
  • I felt really badass in 8th grade when I touched 2 girls’ boobs for the first time on a school trip (everyone knew that was prime hook up time)
  • I also didn’t have my first real kiss or girlfriend until way later than the rest of my friends
  • I remember when having World Industries t-shirts/skate shoes were the coolest thing to wear until fads like “Jesus is my Homeboy” shirts were different every 2 weeks
  • I remember when having long hair was cool
  • I didn’t judge the emo/myspace angle pics people took on their flip phones as much as I do when I see them now
  • I felt like such a detective when I realized you could see entire photobuckets from pictures put on people’s myspaces
  • Myspace gave me the HTML skills I use today

I used to be one of the most awkward kids in my school as you can probably tell from all the things I just listed. To this day, I still question how I’m now able to successfully socialize/have friends after how I was during puberty.

(Source: onzo)

Neopets. That is all.

Neopets. That is all.

…And here are the pets with their terribly original names.

…And here are the pets with their terribly original names.

My idea of a perfect day is a little bit different now.
I also like the fact that my 12-year-old self seemed to consider HOTMAIL the mecca of e-mail.

My idea of a perfect day is a little bit different now.

I also like the fact that my 12-year-old self seemed to consider HOTMAIL the mecca of e-mail.

Usernames?

My AIM was choclatluvr8692. Because everyone needs some choclatluvin and a constant reminder of their birthday. -_- 

(Source: lingerhere)

Speaking of usernames…

preppypoptart…

(Source: dejulius)

Pure gold. I was really hip.   Comments on these posts include:  -lmmfao did u forget ur white hahaha -oOoOo cute pic, like ur colorz2
Allison is now on scholarship to a good university. She doesn’t like pink quite as much anymore.

Pure gold. I was really hip. Comments on these posts include: -lmmfao did u forget ur white hahaha -oOoOo cute pic, like ur colorz2

Allison is now on scholarship to a good university. She doesn’t like pink quite as much anymore.

"Bonjour, bonjour, bonjour, oh, my God!"

I knew every word of Passport to Paris. Still do.

(Source: catsandkerouac)